Wednesday, October 21, 2009

...and by cleaning out the trash, i of course meant...

ugh, fuck it.

I've been staring at this fucking blog update page for about an hour, the post is in my head, and it just wont spew forth onto my screen. So here it is in point form. If anyone enquires, I may go into more depth on the points.

* Thinking of culling my facebook friends list down to people that i like. If you don't make the cut, you'll probably notice a lack of updates from me. Also going to establish a list of guidelines for being on my friends list for social networking sites. The guidelines will pretty much be "I have to know you. If you're account gets hacked, then I don't want to have you on my friends list anymore."

* removing "bad influence material" from my friends lists on MSN and the such too. I want to surround myself with awesome friends. Not people i only talk to because i think i have a chance.

* I want to take my nan and pop to a recording of Spics and Specs, or to one of their live shows if they do any more.

* general pissing and moaning about my sexual and social inadequacies.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

The Old School.

Scotty and Keean came over last night. We shot the shit and played guitar hero. I swear I wasn't trying to show off :P We ordered pizza and let Scott rape our ear drums with terribly bad music. And i'm not exaggerating there - it wasn't music that i just didn't like, it was music that he had deliberately chosen for it's horridly screeching banshee singers. Oh, and Scott totally managed to sneak Khe Sahn onto my hard drive...

Keean teased that we should all go out in town and terrorise women. I really hope we go ahead with that, because i think it would be the kind of group that would help me with my approach anxiety. I would feel a lot more awesome amongst a group with that configuration.

I also bought a turntable yesterday. I tried to figure it out last night and managed to get it to play - albeit it with the stylus dragging on the vinyl (and me just cranking up the pitch to compensate for it slowing the playback). I actually READ the instructions today, put the counterbalance onto the pick-up arm, and corrected the anti-skate. No, i have no idea what any of that means, but I did it, and now i have Barry White cranking at the even level pitch (+-0). I played my Pulp Fiction vinyl earlier and notice it had a terrible hum, which i *think* was to do with the turntable being on table next to the stereo, and the reverberations creating feedback into the stylus, like a microphone in front of a speaker.

Note To Self: Find local places to buy Vinyl!

Monday, October 12, 2009

My greatest analogy ever.

So, rather unceremoniously, it was over.

I wanted to do something big. I wanted to shake some foundations, and maybe challenge perceptions. What made me think about it was something another deserting rat said. I was telling said rat about me and Phil sitting around on Monday mornings, eating Sausage Rolls. The rat, quite sadly told me that he had never experienced anything like that - pure unadulterated insubordinance. It made me feel bad for the group as a whole.

But then I wondered how far it would get me. Like fucking on the front lawn of a retirement home. It's not as if all these old people would suddenly remember how fun sex was and start sneaking into each others rooms at night or asking for viagra on the next medication review. The only vision I could forsee involved the police and me avoiding the old folks home for a few days until dimentia kicked in and I wasn't recognised anymore.

So I just smiled, returned false sentiments and secretly abused privileges. Fuck I hate being such a pacifist (read: pussy). Even after a short message about the multiple faces that had been shown in my absence, I just smiled as the Dick penetrated my anus for it's last desperate time.

I felt dissapointed more than I did sad. I vowed to not let it affect my new start.

Until the evening when I faced them once more, and I genuinely believed that someone was going to miss me. That's when, for a brief, unresolved, moment, I felt like I was going to cry. As quickly as it came, it passed, leaving me feeling ripped off again.

At the end of the day, it's thier loss. And their loss is my new beginning. Here's hoping i'm appreciated a bit more there.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


Where is the time to do everything I want?

I feel so tired and lethargic lately. My brain is a bit clearer, but my body feels like shit. No matter what time I go to bed, i always wake up feeling like i haven't slept at all.

One of my goals is to go out by myself. It sounds weird, but i think it's the next step in breaking my social barriers. One of Mystery's tips is to familiarise yourself with your surroundings. I was thinking of just heading to one of my locals, as crappy or "not my style" as they are. To familiarise, and to just get out and do something.

I've been trying to play Metal Gear Solid. Yes, i'm talking about the PSOne version. I spent most of last night just dicking and talking to friends, and just didn't get around to it. Tonight I was at my nan's place having dinner and watching TV until 11pm. Tomorrow night i'm working. I bought MGS2 to play straight after it, but it seems a fair way off yet. And it sucks too, because i'm ENJOYING it. I've barely noticed the outdated graphics, because i've been too busy enjoying the story.

Speaking of tomorrow night: The premiere of Beauty and the Geek is on. Someone tape it for me? Just in case I can't find a torrent of it? I haven't seen an ad or anything, but people have told me that i wasn't nearly geeky compared to the guys that got on. I mainly just want to find out if I know any of them...

And lastly, as much as you may or may not want to hear it - I've been randy as all hell lately, and I don't know why. There just seems to be a lot of people around me getting laid and my frustrations are getting the better of me :\

That's all for now, blog. Stay Cool.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

lol, first.


As you're all probably aware, is no more. I've had a private blog going since then, but I wanted a more public place to share my thoughts and opinion. I debated using my old livejournal account, but decided that i had left that in a happy place, and kinda wanted to keep it like that. That and i'm all about new starts at the moment.

I'm going to use this blog for my more creative outbursts, and to document all the changes and stuff i'm experiencing. Hopefully i'll be reviewing all the games i'm planning to play, kinda like a review site. I've vowed to buy a new game each time i get paid, in order to wade through the back catalogue of games that i missed out on while i was addicted to crack (AKA World of Warcraft). If you have any suggestions, you know what to do!

I'm really hoping my post frequency is around one post every few days. I've enabled posting via email too, so hopefully I can do a bit of photodocumenting. As this is a public type journal for me, i probably won't go into too much elmo crap here, i'll leave that for my private journal ^_^ I also have this crazy idea of going through my old journal and re-posting some of my favourite posts in lieu of real updates. LIKE THE BEST OF, BUT FOR THE PAST 10 YEARS OF MY VARIOUS BLOGS.